Stealth Health: Future Wellness Treatments

NEKO Health: The 360 Health MOT

Stepping inside NEKO’s minimalist Marylebone clinic feels more like entering a modernist design hotel — or the set of a futuristic blockbuster — than a cutting-edge health centre. Mid-century oatmeal chairs and mint green furnishings offer a softly, softly approach. Yet its mission is anything but: to offer a comprehensive full body MOT using millions of health data points from inside and out, to provide a complete picture of your health. This includes mole mapping, heart health, grip strength (important for later on in life for how quickly you recover from injuries) and blood testing.

I first came to learn about NEKO, of course, via Instagram. On-the-pulse friends posting images of sci-fi looking sandals and robes, entering a giant scanner and rhapsodising about the healthcare of the future. A click through revealed what NEKO, aside from its game-changing approach to preventative health, is most famous for: a very long waitlist. So, after signing up and waiting, I got the email.

The experience begins with mole mapping, standing semi-naked in a giant cylinder — there were two that needed further attention (images were sent off and they came back clear). After numerous other tests, I head to a space-age consultation room where a doctor awaits. A screen with all the data points offers a very clear picture of one’s markers.

I am encouraged to learn that my heart health is three years younger than my age. I could improve my cholesterol a bit, but everything is in the ‘normal’ range — everything except my very weak grip strength, which is a surprise as I work out regularly. So, I leave with instructions to do more strength training at the gym, keep sticking to a Mediterranean diet, and I sign up to come back in a year. It costs £299 (it would be a lot more to do these tests individually privately), but that does seem a small price for peace of mind.

nekohealth.com

Combe Grove: The Metabolic Reset

It is hard to escape the proliferation of glossy-haired, glowing-skinned crusaders such as the Glucose Goddess and Em the Nutritionist, all extolling the virtues of a protein-rich diet to boost metabolic health. But what is it all about? I headed to the arcadian idyll of Combe Grove near Bath to road-test their metabolic programme to try and make sense of it all. The five-day ( £2,150) retreat aims to offer a complete reset for those who want to lose weight, improve general health — particularly issues relating to age — sleep better and reduce stress levels. The programme is devised around five pillars: nutrition, movement, sleep, environment and mindset. The base for the week is Scandi-style rooms with views of the ancient Wiltshire valley and the Westbury White Horse, and bottles of filtered water and herbal teas (no miniature gins here).

On the first day, we are all fitted with glucose monitors, undergo a rather scary Accuniq scan to determine muscle and fat mass — importantly including the hidden visceral fat located deep around the organs — and kick off with a series of intensive lectures. These span everything from how negatively carbohydrates can spike blood sugar levels to how this affects sleep, stress and cell repair to the major takeaways I had: the importance of a fasting window (not eating after an early dinner until a late breakfast the next day) to help with this repair and how much processed foods can upset the body’s equilibrium. Hearty breakfasts of ham hock with eggs and dinners of Cornish fish stew, within the 12-hour eating window, means nobody comes away hungry, and with daily treatments from deep tissue massage to acupuncture and Pilates you DO come away thoroughly revived — and educated.

combegrove.com

Echelon Health: The Dementia Analysis

It started happening a few years ago: Returning a few times to the kitchen to retrieve the house keys, forgetting halfway up the stairs what I was going for. So when I was offered a dementia screening, my first thought was to run away. Then, immediately, I asked how quickly I could get to the clinic. Echelon Health is a leader in offering preventative health assessments. Far more targeted than Neko — which offers the same test for everybody who walks through the door — here you can sign up to everything from a “Core Cancer” analysis, including tests for prostate, colon and ovarian cancer, to a £14,000 Platinum assessment, which pretty much tests for everything, inside and out.

The £3,000 dementia analysis is designed to offer comprehensive blood tests, an MRI and a neurocognitive evaluation. The smart rooms in Marylebone are furnished with specially commissioned artworks and run with clean efficiency. After a talk through with a neurologist — I highlight my recent concerns — I undertake the slightly unnerving MRI, followed by the blood tests. All are, thankfully, normal, but could detect early structural changes and markers of cognitive risk. The neurocognitive evaluation transports you back to the school room with memory tests including trying to recall a name and a long address three minutes later, remembering shapes and naming as many things with a certain letter. I score a respectable 98/100. After a talk with the doctor, it appears that my “brain fog” is the result of stress that comes with a very busy life (my anxiety on the GAD-7 scale scored 7/10, which is the lower end of moderate anxiety), two small children and probably my age (mid-40s). However, it is reassuring to know that any red flags would have resulted in further, more extensive tests, such as an amyloid PET scan to look for Alzheimer’s-related protein deposits and onward counselling. echelon.health

Clinique La Prairie: The Longevity Retreat

The lake-hugging town of Montreux is famous for its jazz festival and illustrious visitors, from Freddie Mercury to David Bowie, who were drawn to the picturesque resort. It is now also notable for the cool white building at the far end, which is leading the charge in revolutionary healthcare. Clinique La Prairie was founded in 1931 and has welcomed many guests, such as bon vivant Winston Churchill. It is hard to imagine the cigar-chugging Churchill checking into this medical enclave for a “Longevity programme,” but many now flock here for the retreat’s transformative properties. Bedrooms are just the right side of modernist, but vials for “samples” and devices to help guests out of the bath hint at the more medical purpose of the stay. Most are here for a seven-day rest, based around its Longevity programme, designed to slow cellular ageing and boost immunity.

After extensive blood samples, I undergo a gym medical where  balance is measured on a Huber 360 Evolution (I have to improve my ‘proprioception’ — sixth sense, aka how stable you are when your eyes are closed) and reactions on the Senaptec sensory station (reactions good, memory test middling), as well as a full body fat analysis and a programme with a doctor is devised. Here, it goes beyond merely looking at lifestyle and diet (although they do this too). Genetic and epigenetic tests can be performed as well as their pioneering glycans tests (for measuring immunity) and ceramide tests (for measuring cardiovascular health). Food is sugar-free but of Michelin quality, served on gold-flecked Limoges plates. A spa, gym and daily lung- busting walks help revive weary bones. And with a complete hospital at your disposal, with departments from psychology to visceral surgery, endocrinology and dentistry, you really can emerge a completely new you.

cliniquelaprairie.com